Bach Flower Advice

8 Tips to help you feel positive in life

negatief

Negativity can take the pleasure out of life, and oftentimes we are our own worst enemy. If you are prone to a negative internal dialogue – one that influences what you say, do, think, feel or behave – and you are struggling to silence it, we have some tips for you that might just help to improve matters.

1. Positive mental attitude is a choice

Understanding that having a positive mental attitude is a choice is the first stage in inculcating a new, happier you. You get to decide whether you want to be positive or negative about something. Of course, years of ingrained thinking, may well have you automatically reaching for a crabby, miserable response to a situation, but what you have to do is stop yourself, and choose to be positive. This takes a great deal of practice and it is certainly isn’t something you’ll achieve overnight. But to start with, just remember that you get to choose how you react to any situation or thought. You are in control.

2. Ditch the negative

You will struggle to feel positive in life if you surround yourself with negativity. The chances are, if you have previously been a negative person – someone who moaned and complained all the time, you will have attracted a very similar ilk of friend and acquaintance. Well, now you need to ditch that negativity from your life.

Negative people have a negative energy that will bring you down. They will tend to be judgemental and argumentative, and will not see the good in a situation. They will not want anyone to be happier than they are, even if they say otherwise. This will be incredibly hurtful to your chances of being positive. So distance yourself from these people and make new friends.

If it isn’t possible to change the people you are with – this could be your family or colleagues – then try and change the subject if you find the negativity is wearing you down. Introduce something positive, or skip away and ignore what is being said.

3. Practice better body language

Believe it or not, your body and your mind are connected intrinsically and you can’t do anything with one that won’t affect the other. You can trick your mind into becoming more optimistic and positive by choosing to practice better body language. Shoulders up, head high, back straight, and smile. Keep your body open and welcoming, and your mind will be too!

4. Search for the good in life

Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, there will be some good to come out of it. Rather than be run down by bad experiences, search for what it can teach you, or seek out the positives. You may be stuck in traffic for an age, for example, but if this allows you to hear a radio programme or listen to a favourite piece of music, then you can turn this into a good moment. You may have a bad relationship and you feel your heart has been broken, but if you consider that you had some great times, met new people and learned new things, you’ll see there are positives too.

5. Keep a gratitude journal

By keeping a journal and logging the things you are grateful for, you will rapidly move away from negativity and disappointment. The smallest things can be included in your notebook: you may have had a really lovely tomato with your lunch, or a sweet conversation with a neighbour, or you saw a rainbow, or heard some beautiful birdsong. It really doesn’t matter what it is, if it made you feel happy in that moment, list it in your gratitude journal and count your blessings. Practicing gratitude in this way can help to shift your perspective so that you are generally more positive and aware of what is going on around you.

6. Create a positive environment

Creating a positive environment is tricky because what seems positive for you, may not be for someone else. What’s a given, is that a cluttered, untidy or dirty space will not make you feel good. Funnily enough, sorting out, throwing out, and cleaning, are wonderful ways to help you feel more positive. De-junk your work and living space and give unwanted items to charity. Treat yourself to some new paint, or buy yourself some flowers. Place post-its or motivational posters somewhere you can see them, or simply have a favourite photo close by that makes you feel good.

7. Do something nice for someone else

Sometimes we become so self-absorbed we forget about everyone else. Focusing on the needs of another person is another great way to become more positive yourself. Think about what you can do for others, or even just one other person. You could consider volunteering for a charity, visiting an elderly or infirm neighbour, or walking someone else’s dog. Failing that, try and do one small kind thing per day for a complete stranger: pick up something they’ve dropped, buy them a coffee, or compliment someone on their hair or perfume.

8. Believe in yourself

You’re a human being, and like all human beings you have flaws. However, much more than that, you are incredible and you are an individual. There is no-one quite like you. Celebrate this fact and cherish who you are. Life is a party that you can’t attend twice, so live your life to the best of your ability, and enjoy!

Created by Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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8 Tips to help you feel positive in life

8 Tips to help you feel positive in life
negatief

Negativity can take the pleasure out of life, and oftentimes we are our own worst enemy. If you are prone to a negative internal dialogue – one that influences what you say, do, think, feel or behave – and you are struggling to silence it, we have some tips for you that might just help to improve matters.

1. Positive mental attitude is a choice

Understanding that having a positive mental attitude is a choice is the first stage in inculcating a new, happier you. You get to decide whether you want to be positive or negative about something. Of course, years of ingrained thinking, may well have you automatically reaching for a crabby, miserable response to a situation, but what you have to do is stop yourself, and choose to be positive. This takes a great deal of practice and it is certainly isn’t something you’ll achieve overnight. But to start with, just remember that you get to choose how you react to any situation or thought. You are in control.

2. Ditch the negative

You will struggle to feel positive in life if you surround yourself with negativity. The chances are, if you have previously been a negative person – someone who moaned and complained all the time, you will have attracted a very similar ilk of friend and acquaintance. Well, now you need to ditch that negativity from your life.

Negative people have a negative energy that will bring you down. They will tend to be judgemental and argumentative, and will not see the good in a situation. They will not want anyone to be happier than they are, even if they say otherwise. This will be incredibly hurtful to your chances of being positive. So distance yourself from these people and make new friends.

If it isn’t possible to change the people you are with – this could be your family or colleagues – then try and change the subject if you find the negativity is wearing you down. Introduce something positive, or skip away and ignore what is being said.

3. Practice better body language

Believe it or not, your body and your mind are connected intrinsically and you can’t do anything with one that won’t affect the other. You can trick your mind into becoming more optimistic and positive by choosing to practice better body language. Shoulders up, head high, back straight, and smile. Keep your body open and welcoming, and your mind will be too!

4. Search for the good in life

Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, there will be some good to come out of it. Rather than be run down by bad experiences, search for what it can teach you, or seek out the positives. You may be stuck in traffic for an age, for example, but if this allows you to hear a radio programme or listen to a favourite piece of music, then you can turn this into a good moment. You may have a bad relationship and you feel your heart has been broken, but if you consider that you had some great times, met new people and learned new things, you’ll see there are positives too.

5. Keep a gratitude journal

By keeping a journal and logging the things you are grateful for, you will rapidly move away from negativity and disappointment. The smallest things can be included in your notebook: you may have had a really lovely tomato with your lunch, or a sweet conversation with a neighbour, or you saw a rainbow, or heard some beautiful birdsong. It really doesn’t matter what it is, if it made you feel happy in that moment, list it in your gratitude journal and count your blessings. Practicing gratitude in this way can help to shift your perspective so that you are generally more positive and aware of what is going on around you.

6. Create a positive environment

Creating a positive environment is tricky because what seems positive for you, may not be for someone else. What’s a given, is that a cluttered, untidy or dirty space will not make you feel good. Funnily enough, sorting out, throwing out, and cleaning, are wonderful ways to help you feel more positive. De-junk your work and living space and give unwanted items to charity. Treat yourself to some new paint, or buy yourself some flowers. Place post-its or motivational posters somewhere you can see them, or simply have a favourite photo close by that makes you feel good.

7. Do something nice for someone else

Sometimes we become so self-absorbed we forget about everyone else. Focusing on the needs of another person is another great way to become more positive yourself. Think about what you can do for others, or even just one other person. You could consider volunteering for a charity, visiting an elderly or infirm neighbour, or walking someone else’s dog. Failing that, try and do one small kind thing per day for a complete stranger: pick up something they’ve dropped, buy them a coffee, or compliment someone on their hair or perfume.

8. Believe in yourself

You’re a human being, and like all human beings you have flaws. However, much more than that, you are incredible and you are an individual. There is no-one quite like you. Celebrate this fact and cherish who you are. Life is a party that you can’t attend twice, so live your life to the best of your ability, and enjoy!


Marie Pure

Other articles


Why not me

Why not me?

It's natural to compare our own lives with those of others - weighing up the pros and cons of situations helps us make decisions. But there can be a downside when you find you're constantly comparing yourself with others, envying their seemingly perfect lives and wondering why they are luckier, more prosperous, and better looking than you.

Read the complete article

5 tips to survive autumn healthily

5 tips to survive autumn healthily

We simply can’t avoid noticing the changes all around us. Autumn is here... Autumn is also called a transitional season. Slowly and steadily, it prepares us for the transition...

Read the complete article

12 easy ways to get people to like you

12 easy ways to get people to like you

Have you ever noticed that some people are instantly likeable? Many people believe that people will only like you because of natural traits you're born with: good looks, talent and sociability. But this is a misconception. Getting people to like you is within your control, and it's all to do with self-belief, knowing yourself and being emotionally intelligent. Here's what to do to be more likeable.

Read the complete article

verleden-loslaten

Letting go of the past: 5 tips

Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.

Read the complete article

Isn't depression just a fancy word for feeling a bit down

Isn't depression just a fancy word for feeling a bit down?

Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety affect around 1 in 6 people at some stage of their life. Despite it being such a common problem, many sufferers wait months or even years before seeking help.

Read the complete article

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk?

Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.

Read the complete article

Letting go A guide for survivors

Letting go: A guide for survivors

Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.

Read the complete article

How to beat irrational anxieties

How to beat irrational anxieties

Irrational anxieties can seem overwhelming, affecting every aspect of your life. Learn how to beat your fears and worries and take back control.

Read the complete article

Dealing with British Summer Time

Dealing with British Summer Time

Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice. 

Read the complete article

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

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