You see the word "toxic" everywhere these days, but what does it really mean? You've almost certainly come across someone who fits the description. Dealing with difficult personalities can be challenging and emotionally exhausting, to say the least.
Familiarising yourself with toxic behaviour helps you to navigate these stressful relationships. Here are some of the traits generally associated with toxic people:
Let's pause for a moment and reflect on these traits. It's easy to call people toxic. It justifies our emotions, gives us a sense of power and relieves us of responsibility. While it's true that some people are challenging to deal with, it's not helpful to think of ourselves as better or superior to them.
Can we say honestly that we don't recognise any of these characteristics in ourselves? Have we never been self-centred? Have we never been jealous? Are we never inconsistent in our behaviour? Come on, we're all human, and none of us is perfect!
The aim is not to allow such traits to become habitual. When we see these behaviours in others, we label them as toxic, tell ourselves that they are bad people with difficult personalities and try to avoid them.
It's true; nobody wants to spend time with selfish people. But being judgmental and scornful of them isn't necessary. In fact, labelling them as toxic could itself be toxic behaviour.
When your plans don't work out, and others don't act as you'd like them to, what's your response? If you feel inferior or insecure, how do you behave with those you claim you love? It's all too easy to hold others responsible for our own happiness and very easy to label them as toxic when it appears that they are not considerate of our feelings.
We are quick to forget that we are the only ones in charge of our behaviour and emotions, so we end up thinking angry, selfish thoughts. But it's precisely this kind of behaviour that toxic people show. So who's the toxic one now?
Labelling people as toxic distracts us from real, underlying problems. It lets us feel better about our own actions, thoughts and feelings, allocating blame and elevating ourselves rather than trying to gain a better understanding of other people and our relationships.
When we can accept responsibility for our own feelings, we are less likely to blame others for how we are feeling. But that doesn't mean we have to blame ourselves instead. Blame restricts our personal growth. We all make mistakes! The thing is to acknowledge the mistake and learn from it so that we don't make the same mistake again.
You don't need to be best friends with those who behave badly towards you or condone their behaviour, but you also don't have to make the problem worse. Instead, understand that toxic behaviour usually arises from a place of insecurity and personal inadequacy. We need to accept that everyone is at a different stage of emotional development and surround ourselves as much as possible with those who love and respect us.
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.
Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.
Learn how to recognise the signs of stress and avoid slipping into a burnout or a bore-out
Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!Read the complete article
Going back to school during a pandemic is a new experience for everyone, and it's understandable if children are feeling anxious about it. We take a look at some of the issues and how you can help your child to get ready for returning to the classroom.
No one knows what the future holds, so don't waste time and energy worrying about it. Read our tips and find out how to stop being afraid of what might never happen.Read the complete article
Millions of people furloughed for months are now being recalled to work. Others, who have been working from home throughout the lockdown, are returning to the office. And some jobs have simply disappeared: many people are facing redundancy and will soon have to cope with job hunting. Going back to work after an unprecedented length of time at home is quite a challenge.
Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?Read the complete article
Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.
Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.