Feel like everyone takes you for granted? Whether it's working late to prepare a presentation or cooking a special birthday meal for your partner, it's nice to be appreciated when you've made an extra effort. And if it seems as if people don't notice, you might feel as if no one values you.
But if you often feel unappreciated and undervalued, feelings of anger and resentment may develop, and your work and family relationships could suffer. Luckily, there are several strategies to help you feel valued.
Just because people don't say thank you, it doesn't mean that they don't value you. There are other ways to express gratitude apart from words.
Maybe your teenager gives you a high five, or your partner makes you a cup of tea when you come home as a way of showing their appreciation. And at work, if a colleague makes you a coffee or treats you to lunch, it might be their way of showing their appreciation.
So it's worth bearing in mind that your family, friends and colleagues might be showing how much they value you in ways you might not have considered. You might find that they're more appreciative than you've given them credit for.
Sometimes it seems that the more you do for people, the more they take you for granted. And they may forget to value everything you've done for them. So try to say "no" sometimes. Being a bit more assertive reminds people not to take you for granted and that you're not always available willing to pitch in. If you don't feel self-confident enough to do this, Bach Flowers Mix 44 can boost your self-esteem and help you to be more assertive.
It can also be helpful to say no occasionally if you've got into a habit of "people-pleasing". For example, if a friend asks you to go to the pub when you're tired and had been planning a quiet evening in, it's OK to say no. If your friend values you, they'll be happy to catch up with you later. It can be tough to decline a request for a favour or a social invitation, but doing so occasionally reminds people that you are your own person and don't have to do things you don't want to do.
A proven way to boost your sense of well being is to help others. Showing kindness allows you to feel good about yourself, and then it doesn't seem to matter so much whether others show their appreciation of you or not.
Doing something to help the community can bring you unexpected bonuses, such as the chance to learn new skills or practice ones you already have and more time to exercise.
When you consider all the benefits you acquire through being kind and helping others, you may be surprised at how many things you should be grateful for.
When you focus on the way others fail to show how they value you, you might forget to show that you appreciate others. But when you say thank you to your family, friends or colleagues, you will inspire others to value you as well.
So thank those surrounding you for everything they do for you. You could show how much you value others by saying "thank you", or you could write a heartfelt note or send flowers to show your appreciation.
Watch out for patterns of negative thinking. When you're constantly telling yourself that no one appreciates you or say to yourself, "No one but me ever does anything around here", these exaggerated thoughts will make you feel even worse.
Reframe your thoughts and remind yourself of occasions when others have shown how much they appreciate and value you. And remember the times when you've been assertive and set limits on what you are prepared to do.
Tell yourself that your family appreciates everything you do, even though they don't always show it. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones will help you feel more valued.
Sometimes it can help to let others know how you're feeling, so don't be afraid to ask for more appreciation. You could try telling your boss, partner, or kids how much you enjoy it when your hard work is noticed and valued.
You'll probably find that some people will be delighted to show how much they appreciate you when they know that it's important to you. But others may pass it off with a joke or insist that they already show how much they value you.
Bear in mind that people sometimes joke about things that make them uncomfortable. Their joking response may reflect their own lack of self-esteem rather than how they really feel about you.
If you ask people who is the most important person in their life, they will usually say it's their partner, child, parent or friend. But who do you really depend on most? Who gets you out of bed and dressed in the morning, feeds you and gets you to school or work?
That's right... it's you! You are the number one person in your life because you are central to your own existence. So learn to value yourself: without you, your life would not exist.
Sources:
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/
https://www.regain.us/advice/general/are-you-feeling-unappreciated-what-to-do-and-how-to-speak-up/
It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.
After 25 years in the Bach flower world, we asked ourselves, is now the right time for our own new name? Not only have we grown, but so have you, along with the confidence you have in us. That's why we want to connect ourselves to our own name. That name is Mariepure.
When we’re stuck in a bit of a rut, the days and nights slip past so quickly that we barely notice them. But life is not a rehearsal!
Do you find yourself often thinking about your past? Do you wish you could turn back the clock to days gone by or things as they were before covid disrupted the world?
Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, governments around the world have taken unprecedented measures to stop the spread of coronavirus. The rapid changes we've seen have had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives.
Being happy is something everybody strives for, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who go through life unhappily. A lot of people take life how it is.
Read the complete article
According to figures from the World Health Organisation, more than 260 million people worldwide suffer from depression. And it's not only adults who are diagnosed with this illness. Children as young as three or four years old can experience depression.
Going back to school during a pandemic is a new experience for everyone, and it's understandable if children are feeling anxious about it. We take a look at some of the issues and how you can help your child to get ready for returning to the classroom.
As nice as it is for a person to celebrate New Year, it's not so nice for a dog, especially when the loud fireworks go off the whole night. This is really frightening for many dogs. Read our 7 tips on how you can help your dog with his fear of fireworks.
Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?
Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.
