While many people are embarrassed to admit it, a loss of libido (sex drive) is actually more common than you might imagine.
Research suggests that one in five men – and even more women – will experience a dip in their sex drive at some stage in their life.
There are many reasons why women experience a problem with a low libido. Some of the most common include:
Men too can experience some issues that lead to a drop off in libido. These can include:
If you experience a sudden loss of libido it may be worth having a chat with a medical professional. This is particularly important if the loss lasts a long time or it is a recurring problem. In the meantime, there are some factors you can consider that may be at the heart of the problem.
Are you happy in your relationship? If you do have concerns about your relationship with your partner, these doubts and worries can be the real reason for your loss of libido. Has there been infidelity in the relationship? If there is a lack of connection with your partner or a series of unresolved conflicts or fights, this can lead to a dampening of feelings. Similarly, you may need to work on better communication of sexual needs and preferences.
In many cases it can simply be that you have been in your relationship for a long time and you have become overfamiliar with your partner. This can lead to a certain amount of erotic dissatisfaction because you know what your partner will do and say and the excitement has been lost. This is very common.
A low libido may also be the result of anxiety about performance. Is sex difficult? Can it be unfulfilling either for yourself or your partner? Are there ejaculation problems or erectile dysfunction? Or is the woman finding sex painful?
Another frequent cause of a lower libido is simply that you are getting older. We are biologically driven while we are at our peak, to procreate and this means we have a high sex drive. However, once the years of useful productivity start to pass us by, our libido slows down. Physiologically, men and women will see falling levels of sex hormones, while age-related health problems, or the side effects of medication can also take their toll.
If one or both partners are suffering severe fatigue or has mental health issues that mean they are tired, they may well find it difficult to focus on their sex life. The answer to this issue is to make lifestyle changes so that you feel less stressed, and you have the time and energy to devote to your relationship. Depression is particularly serious as the feelings can last a long time, and some of the treatments involved can dampen libido.
There are many psychological causes of low sex drive, including mental health problems, but also poor body image and low self-esteem. It may be that a partner has suffered sexual abuse at some stage or has a previous negative sexual experience.
If you are overdoing certain substances, or drinking too much, then you need to be aware that these can have an effect on your libido.
While most women do not have a problem with contraception, some women have reported that their libido is affected when they use hormonal contraception such as a contraceptive patch, a progestogen-only pill, have a contraceptive implant or an injection. There are generally improvements after a few months of using these contraceptives.
Certain long-term (chronic) medical conditions such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes and obesity can also have a negative effect on your libido as can a number of medications. If you are unsure, you should speak to a medical professional.
If you’re worried about a low libido the thing to consider is what is normal for you? If you’re not unhappy with the way things are going, then the chances are it’s all OK. Sometimes, you may be distressed because your partner wants sex more than you do, and this can be a problem. In many cases while the sex drive is weaker in a relationship than it once was, actually the relationship can be stronger than ever.
Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.
Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, governments around the world have taken unprecedented measures to stop the spread of coronavirus. The rapid changes we've seen have had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives.
What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.
Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?
For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?
Read the complete article
When we’re stuck in a bit of a rut, the days and nights slip past so quickly that we barely notice them. But life is not a rehearsal!
What can you do if your kid doesn't want to go back to school? Here are our hints and tips to help if your child is expressing a refusal to go to school.
We all want to be successful but many of us find the path to achieving our dreams is blocked by our fear of failure. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, go backpacking around the world or start up a new business, you need to accept that you might fail many times over before you achieve success.
Have you ever noticed that some people are instantly likeable? Many people believe that people will only like you because of natural traits you're born with: good looks, talent and sociability. But this is a misconception. Getting people to like you is within your control, and it's all to do with self-belief, knowing yourself and being emotionally intelligent. Here's what to do to be more likeable.
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.
