I lost it all. What now?

I lost it all. What now?
I lost it all. What now

Life gives but also takes away. And when what we've lost is a relationship or a loved one, we all know that the loss can lead to emotions such as anger and grief. But what if what you've lost is your health, your job, or a precious object?

Even if the thing you lost isn't a person, you can still experience feelings of bereavement and grief. You might notice symptoms such as mood swings, anxiety, depression, fatigue, a loss of interest in your usual activities, avoiding being with people, difficulty sleeping and changes in appetite.

Such a wave of emotions and physical symptoms can feel overwhelming. You might feel as if you've lost everything and your world is going to end. Bach Flower Mix 68 can help you deal with the shock of loss, soothing grief and reducing depression.

While it might not be easy to deal with loss, you can come through this. If you look back through your life, you'll probably realise that it's not the first time you've felt like this. You've done it before, and you can do it again.

Bach flowers personal mix

Bach flowers personal mix:

  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
  • Fast and good results
Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

Why are you so upset that you feel you lost it all?

When we mourn for something we've lost, it's rarely the thing itself that we're grieving. It's what it represents to us.

If you lose the ring your grandma left you, you're not just losing a piece of jewellery; you're mourning a sense of connection and a feeling of being valued and trusted. If you're made redundant from a job you've held down for years, sure, you'll be missing your salary, but you may also be grieving for the feeling of being connected and belonging to a team, a loss of social status and a sense of self-worth.

Are you overreacting?

If you feel overpowering emotions when you've lost something, it can be down to repressed emotion and negative core beliefs.

Our core beliefs are the concepts about the world and ourselves that we develop as children. We can then be controlled by these assumptions as if they are facts, even though they may be distorted thinking.

For example, if we lose something valuable, we might say to ourselves, "I can't be trusted to look after things". And when loss triggers these negative core beliefs, years of repressed emotions can also be stirred up.

We suddenly feel overwhelmed by sadness or anger without realising what has triggered these intense feelings. So what can you do to feel better when it feels as if you've lost everything?

1. Be kind to yourself

It's absolutely normal to feel upset for weeks on end when you lose something important to you. So don't beat yourself up or tell yourself to grow up and stop being such a loser. Try to be kind and understanding to yourself as you would with a good friend. You wouldn't tell them to stop being such a drama llama when you know they're feeling very vulnerable.

2. Take the time you need to grieve

Think of it as mourning. There's no set timeline. Everyone will take different amounts of time to grieve. And when you're ready, you will move on.

3. Dig down to the real issues

It can be easier to get over intense feelings of loss if you can work out what's really going on and what losing something has triggered for you. Talking to friends you trust can be great, as can keeping a journal of your thoughts and feelings.

Reflect on how the loss has made you feel and how your life is different now. And try to work out what it is that you've really lost, beneath the obvious. Now ask yourself what goals you can set so you can regain that feeling of connection/trust/self-belief.

Can you think back to an earlier time when it felt as if your world was ending? It might have felt as if you'd never get through it. But you did. And you'll get through this loss as well.

Are things as bad as you think?

Maybe it feels that it's different or worse this time around. So try to imagine what life might be like for you in two years, five years or even ten years down the line. Now ask yourself whether things will still seem as bad in the future as you think they are now.

Try looking at this loss from a different perspective and see if there's something you can learn from it. The knowledge you've acquired from this experience will make you stronger and more resilient, and you'll find you'll be able to cope with whatever life has in store.


Sources:

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/my-feelings/grief-and-loss/

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm


Marie Pure

Other articles


How to stop everything going wrong

How to stop everything going wrong

Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.

Read the complete article

Dealing with British Summer Time

Dealing with British Summer Time

Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice. 

Read the complete article

How to break your bad habits

How to break your bad habits

Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?

Read the complete article

Isn't depression just a fancy word for feeling a bit down

Isn't depression just a fancy word for feeling a bit down?

Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety affect around 1 in 6 people at some stage of their life. Despite it being such a common problem, many sufferers wait months or even years before seeking help.

Read the complete article

Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship? 

Read the complete article

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk?

Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.

Read the complete article

How to prove your value

How to prove your value

Feel like everyone takes you for granted? Whether it's working late to prepare a presentation or cooking a special birthday meal for your partner, it's nice to be appreciated when you've made an extra effort. And if it seems as if people don't notice, you might feel as if no one values you.

Read the complete article

Do you 'Musturbate' too much

Do you 'Musturbate' too much?

Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".

Read the complete article

Did you get stuck in the past

Did you get stuck in the past?

Do you find yourself often thinking about your past? Do you wish you could turn back the clock to days gone by or things as they were before covid disrupted the world?

Read the complete article

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?

Read the complete article

Free personal advice for your problem?

Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.

tom vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch

Yes, I want free advice

No thanks, I will do my own research